step 11 - bonus :D

Get tangled in things. Alternatively, trip over things. Or bump into stationary objects like file cabinets or poles. It's important not to look as though you have done so intentionally. Repeating step 1 and 2 should help you with this.

step 10

Apologize too often.

step 9

If you are with a friend and something fairly ordinary comes on the TV, say, "Oooh, yeaaaaah," as though it is really sexy. When your friend looks at you like you're an idiot, look guilty. Say nothing. Let the silence build.

step 8


When you play sports, fall often. Send the ball in the wrong direction. Begin to cry with frustration after ten or fifteen minutes of constant failure.

step 7



Take a long time to do simple tasks when everyone is watching. Be sure to show a lot of effort on your face and apologize for taking so long. Then mess up and start over. Be on the verge of tears.

step 6


Laugh randomly. Not too loudly, though. A little nervous laugh should suffice.

step 5

During long silences, say a single word in a very drawn-out way using a high pitched voice. Think of how "Gatorade" is said in the movie The Water Boy. It can be any word. Do not laugh.